Is This A Good Experience Of A Battle From Ww1? Its For English.?
My heart is pounding in my chest. Words cannot describe the fear I am feeling. I clamber out of the boat, the sound of guns shooting, raffling through my brain. I collapse onto the floor, and heave myself across the rough sand. Stained red waves splashing into my face, as I sprawl across the sand. I take cover behind a ram. It was tall, black and shaped like a cross, as if it was destined to be our graveyard.
The smell of salt water and fresh air is not enough to disguise the overwhelming scent of burning, and gun powder. I’m sick to the pit of my stomach, as I struggled for each and every painful breath. All I can think about is if I would see my family again. I look up to see a young solider, he was quivering with horror, his head buried in his hands. I see him screaming, but the world seems to have gone into slow motion, drowning his screams.
December 20th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Have you got the right war?
World war one was fought in the trenches, there were no amphibious assualts that I can think of. During the Galipoli campaign troops landing were shelled upon but I doubt any would have landed anywhere within rifle range of the enemy.
Also there was no gunpowder in use by then. Ammunition used more modern explosives. At the start of WW1 the explosive used in ammunition was cordite.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cordite
December 20th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Really good! You might want the soldier to collapse onto the beach (or deck) instead of the floor and stench instead of scent. Word choices can really make a difference in painting the picture yo want your readers to see.
December 20th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
It’s good.
If your teacher asks you where this happened, you can tell that it is the landing at Cape Helles, in Turkey (1915).