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Product Description
Text on Long Sleeve T-shirt: Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles. Gildan Long Sleeve Tee
* 6.1 oz., 100% preshrunk cotton jersey
* Seamless collar taped neck and shoulders
* No center crease (quarter-turned) full cut.
The “SHOPZEUS.COM” label is just a watermark in the picture…. More >>

I Love Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles Long Sleeve T-shirt Large White

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink”! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, “Take another drink”! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left…. then to the right…. right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, “That boy should have quit while he was a head.”
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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really mad at him.
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
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A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field. Ten years goes by, and one day he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees the little snail sitting on the doormat. The snail says, “What was that all about?”
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A young man comes home and says “Dad, just got my driver’s license and would like to use the family car.”
Father replies, :”O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we’ll see.”
Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. “Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I’ve been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?”
Father replies, “That’s all true, but son you didn’t cut your hair.”
Son says, “But, dad, Jesus had long hair.”
Father replies, “Yes, son, you’re perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went.”
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Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a
farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.’
Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’
The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’
Chuck said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’
The farmer asked, ‘What are you goanna do with him?
Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’
The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!’
Chuck said, ‘Sure I can Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘What happened with
that dead donkey?’
Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.’
The farmer asked, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’
Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.’
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HEY DOWN HERE!! okes like that….long….love them!=)

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Product Description
All of our Raffle Drums are elegantly designed in beautiful brass plated steel. The loading door is centered on the drum and secured with a rugged latch. These drums are balanced for a smooth constant action ensuring a random mixing. Features: Constructed of polished brass plated steel Secure latch holds the trap door closed during use Measures 21 inches length x 15 inches wide x 18 inches tall Holds approximately 10,000 tickets… More >>

Large Raffle Drum – 15 inch diameter x 21 inch long

A young man named Gordon bought a donkey from an old farmer for £100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day, but when the farmer drove up he said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news… the donkey is on my truck, but unfortunately he’s dead. Gordon replied, “Well then, just give me my money back.” The farmer said, “I can’t do that, because I’ve spent it already. Gordon said, “OK then, well just unload the donkey anyway. The farmer asked, “What are you going to do with him?” Gordon answered, “I’m going to raffle him off.” To which the farmer exclaimed, “Surely you can’t raffle off a dead donkey!” But Gordon, with a wicked smile on his face said, “Of course I can, you watch me. I just won’t bother to tell anybody that he’s dead.
” A month later the farmer met up with Gordon and asked, “What happened with that dead donkey?” Gordon said, “I raffled him off, sold 500 tickets at two pounds a piece, and made a huge, fat profit!!” Totally amazed, the farmer asked, “Didn’t anyone complain that you had
stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?” To which Gordon replied, “The only guy who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him his £2 raffle ticket money back plus an extra £200, which as you know is double the going rate for a donkey, so he thought I was great guy!!
Gordon grew up and eventually became the Chancellor of the Exchequer, and no matter how many times he lied, or how much money he stole from the British voters, as long as he gave them back some of the stolen money, most of them, unfortunately, still thought he was a great guy.
The moral of this story is that, if you think Gordon is about to play fair and do something for the everyday people of the country for once in his miserable, lying life, think again my friend, because you’ll be better off flogging a dead donkey.